Jen and Michelle each share their friendship story with each other. Feel free to write us with your friendship story. Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you Jen and Michelle for writing us.
Instead of being a joyful occasion, finding out that I was pregnant with quads was one of the scariest and loneliest times of my life. Knowing all the risks associated with a high order multiplies pregnancy only increased my fear. I talked to my husband, friends, pastor, and, though all sympathetic, none could fully understand my anguish. I found some other quad moms, but having given birth years before, they were at different stages with their quads. Though they understood and sympathized with my fears on an intellectual level, they were simply in a different place emotionally than was I.
Early on I had joined a Multiples board on What to Expect and asked whether there was anyone on the board with quads. The responses I got back were that they recalled someone on the board a couple years ago, but no one who was currently active. My heart sank. And then, just days later, a new post. Another woman not only pregnant with quads, but at nearly the exact same stage of pregnancy as me! It was the happiest day of my pregnancy to that point.
A year later we are there for each other daily, over a thousand miles apart but as close as a screen tap. “Florida Michelle” to my hubby and friends to whom I talk constantly about her, is my lifeline in the crazy world of QuadLand. I know that if I hadn’t found her I would muddle through without her wisdom and support, but I am grateful on a daily basis that I don’t have to.
We look forward to meeting someday in the not too distant future. Even better, since she has three girls and a boy and I have three boys and a girl, we look forward to the kiddos falling madly in love, marrying, and giving us oodles of grandchildren. Maybe not, but a girl can dream, right?
It’s May 2015 and I am pregnant in my first trimester with quads. I have no one to talk to about my fears, anxiety, and joy. One day I was scanning the What to Expect Multiples community board and found another quad mom. Not only was she going through the joys and struggles of a quad pregnancy, she was also due 2 days before me. We started talking through that app, then via email, and then through Facebook IM. I have never met my “Quad Mom Jen” friend in person, but I don’t know what I would have done without her.
We checked up on each other weekly, if not daily, to see how we were doing, feeling, etc.… Then I got admitted to the hospital and she introduced me to a group of other quad+ moms and my world just got so much better. We would cry when we read about the losses, celebrate the joys, and laugh with these women who most we have never met in person. Jen delivered her BBBG quads exactly at her 30 week marker and 9 days later I delivered my GBGG quads at 31 weeks.
We went through the NICU experience together; the scares, the joys of holding for the first time, and all the other NICU experiences preemie mom’s go through. Our babies started coming home and we would IM each other the typical questions: did yours do this too, is this normal, how much they are eating, are they sleeping yet, and how are you doing with all the changes. She was one of my lifelines during the transition home and continues to be so even though we have never met.
We plan on meeting sometime but at this point we will keep in touch and make sure that we are there to support each other even if it’s a “yeah mine do that too” or “yeah that’s normal”.